The last few days have been nothing short of irksome at the least. All of a sudden, everything has lost the meaning I thought existed. Its not one particular thing, just an amalgamation of a no. of things - a change that has been reflected in every eon of my life.
Things which didn't make a difference earlier, no longer seem avoidable. Can't help it , they just become so overpowering, that the feelings pent up inside me. and with all of this 'm still looking for ways to get the things I always wanted subconsciously.
Life on one hand seems a lot less fun without the things or the people i have got used to, but what bothers is that on a certain level I don't want to be perturbed by anything. Does that make me any less human, or someone who wants what he thinks is sacred or divine.
One question or thought and countless reactions, some alike others very different. The choice is governed more by circumstances and comfort than by righteousness, but then again so does the definition of right.
From one paradox to the another, that is how my thoughts are, intermingled adjoined sans any individuality.
Sometimes things seem too complicated to be a fact and my imagination has lost its wind, for all that concerns me is the stark reality of life that strips me of any ideals that I ever believed in .
Got two options - either pretend or not care.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Sunday, May 25, 2008
Choices
Having been through 4 years and countless enviro exams, i thought the choices can only make life easier.
But that they'd bring along a long chain of mind spurning posssibilities was not what i'd planned for. Lfe was a lot easier for everyone with Eval around but this EVI thingy is making life a questionaire about which of the two seems better or worse or easy or taxing? Yeah , even a job being taxing is a postive as i found to the peril of my reasoning skills. guess alll those reasoning classes at Alchemist screwed me a atlast. Another 20Ks of my dad's money well spent. But thats a story for another day.
Back to Eval, apparantely a 14 hr a day job with the "IPR" division holds a lot opf promise with a "possible" package of 8 big ones within 2 years. And thats suppose to take care of all the hours of minial desk job, doucmentation and using my precious grey cells for a field even lawyers dare not enter. And they want me for aa the above reasons, rather they'd gladly say it all during the PPT
if they didn't have other inconsequential stats bout their business to blab about.
Or to the lesser job at EVI, with a substantial decrease in take home and added responsibilities. The Carbon tarding company is just another "promising" oppurtunity tahts come my way. From enviro, to Evi life would come a full circle with the fields with immense scope and zero deliverance.
Dont' know, who's more pathetic, the Eval people who with a single intereview had found their soulmate in me ( who says love at first sight is just for movies)
or the EVi people, who after denying me the CFTS profile saying that my strengths( gauged by the master talent scouts within 10 min) don't find a fit with that profile, are now trying to convince me to join the CAS profile by explaining how the two are just two sides of the same coin.
Or is it me, who has to put up with all of this shit, even when i know that theres a whole lot of better or a least more suited things for me out there
Perhaps its the society, the system which define money as the only parameter of success
But then again , that makes choosing a whole lot easier.dunnit.
But that they'd bring along a long chain of mind spurning posssibilities was not what i'd planned for. Lfe was a lot easier for everyone with Eval around but this EVI thingy is making life a questionaire about which of the two seems better or worse or easy or taxing? Yeah , even a job being taxing is a postive as i found to the peril of my reasoning skills. guess alll those reasoning classes at Alchemist screwed me a atlast. Another 20Ks of my dad's money well spent. But thats a story for another day.
Back to Eval, apparantely a 14 hr a day job with the "IPR" division holds a lot opf promise with a "possible" package of 8 big ones within 2 years. And thats suppose to take care of all the hours of minial desk job, doucmentation and using my precious grey cells for a field even lawyers dare not enter. And they want me for aa the above reasons, rather they'd gladly say it all during the PPT
if they didn't have other inconsequential stats bout their business to blab about.
Or to the lesser job at EVI, with a substantial decrease in take home and added responsibilities. The Carbon tarding company is just another "promising" oppurtunity tahts come my way. From enviro, to Evi life would come a full circle with the fields with immense scope and zero deliverance.
Dont' know, who's more pathetic, the Eval people who with a single intereview had found their soulmate in me ( who says love at first sight is just for movies)
or the EVi people, who after denying me the CFTS profile saying that my strengths( gauged by the master talent scouts within 10 min) don't find a fit with that profile, are now trying to convince me to join the CAS profile by explaining how the two are just two sides of the same coin.
Or is it me, who has to put up with all of this shit, even when i know that theres a whole lot of better or a least more suited things for me out there
Perhaps its the society, the system which define money as the only parameter of success
But then again , that makes choosing a whole lot easier.dunnit.
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